Stan Gets Vored
by run with all of the scissors
Summary: Stan's been depressed. Kenny has a suggestion.


It was about one in the afternoon everyday when the depression reached its peak. Stanley Marsh was always sad for no reason. He felt guilty and like something was wrong with him. Was his dad a fuckup? Yes, but he should've felt at least a little greatful for even having a father.

Sitting in the classroom, thoughts swirled around Stan's head. Not fractions like Mr. Garrison wrote on the blackboard, but thoughts about how much better the world would be without him. He sucked. Everything around him sucked. Would it be too weird to ask his mom to abort him 10 years after being born? Would it be too weird to ask his mom just to stick him back up her vagina so he could just be absorbed into her womb like he never existed?

The answer was probably. Stan sighed, what a pity.

Stan hardly noticed the time. Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts, "Brrriiiinnnggg, Brrrriiinngggg," went the final bell. Weakly picking up his bag, his SBF couldn't help but meddle in his friend's down-ness.

"Hey, dude, What's wrong?" Ah, Kyle. Sweet innocent Kyle, only acutely aware of how much the world sucked.

"I dunno man, I've just been feeling a little down." Stan answered honestly.

Kyle thought for a moment, "Well, maybe playing at Cartman's house will help you feel better?" He suggested.

"Yeah, probably not with that fatass."

Kyle opened his mouth to respond, but promptly shut it. No use of arguing, Stan already made up his mind.

opened the door for her son and his three friends. They all went downstairs to play fortnite together. Although Kenny didn't have a phone, he usually borrowed someone else's or watched. They all sat in a circle, some laying down, while some sat.

"No wonder all you fucking Jews were so easy to gas, you're horrible at this game." Cartman stated, sitting hunched over and cross legged on the ground.

Stan handed off his phone to Kenny, "Guys, I don't want to play anymore."

"Haha, fucking pussy," Cartman laughed, his blubber jiggling with, "Your loss."

"Stan, is there something you want to talk about? You've been acting really down lately." Kyle pried at the situation.

"Well," Stan began, scratching the back of his neck, "Honestly, yeah. Do you ever just want to crawl inside of a hole and just be there forever?"

"... Are you embarrassed about something?" Kyle asked, Eric went back to his game.

"No, I mean," He took a shaky breath, "Sometimes I just wish I could crawl back up my mom's vagina so I could be all surrounded by soft warm flesh and never feel anything again."

Cartman's ears perked with this statement, "Holy shit dude, are you gonna like, fist your mom?"

"NO!" Stan cried, his face turning a bright red.

"HmmhMMM MHMHMHPh MHpm mhmhph..." Kenny said.

"What's that, Kenny?" Kyle asked.

Cartman paused his game, looking up, "He said Stan totally wants to get vored."

"What the hell does that even mean?" Stan exclaimed, for he was young and innocent.

Kenny sat up straighter, now fully explaining the process, "Mmpmmmph mpphmhmmphh mp m mhpmpm hmpm mpmph hpmhp hhphphm hmppphmm hphmhphh mmphmm pmmphhm mphmphm hmphmhpmh mphhm mhphm Hohn mphmhm hmphmhmph mhpmhmh pmhph hmphmph mhpmhphmhpm hpmhphmhm mphmphmh mphhmphm mhpmhphm mhpmhp mph mhpmhphphmmhmph mhpmhmph Mo mph mphmhpm phphhmphmhpmh my mphmhp mhmpphmhph mhpmhmphmhpmhmph hmphmh mphmhp m mph mhpmhphpm. Pmhpmh hmph pm hmphmph mphmhmph hmphmph mhpmhm mphmphmp hmphmph Mo mpmhpmhpm mmphpmhpmh mmhpmhmph mphmphm mphmphmhomphmphmm hmphm mphmhpm phmhmphm mhhphmpmhpmhp hmphmph mphmhp mphh mphh mm pump hmph hmm ph..."

"Sick! I didn't know that you were into that!" Kyle cried, in disgust, blushing like a kawaii anime school girl even if he was a ten year old boy.

"Wow Kyle, I had no idea that you were so ignorant and intolerant of other people's kinks." Eric stated, because he definitely had the moral high ground on this one.

"I didn't know... I just thought... Oh god." Stan couldn't even breath. Would he become the next Jeffery Daumier? Would he be forced to lead a life where he could only fap to deviantart tier work? "Ahhh, Oh god."

"Stan... I want to help you... But I don't think I can." Kyle sadly looked to the ground, tears welting, "I'm sorry."

"Dude! I don't want you to swallow me. I doubt that's even physically possible."

Cartman spoke up, "Well, that's so sad, Stan. You'll probably die a virgin. At least now we know who to sacrifice."

"Mmmmhpphm mphm mph..."

"Oh no, no no no. NO." Cartman didn't like where Kenny was going with this, "I'm not gay, and I'm not fat!"

"Kenny, you're sick," But Stan thought for a moment, he might actually get what he wanted. An eternal sleep somewhere warm and cozy. Hopefully he just didn't come out as Cartman's liquid shafts. "But it might just work."

"Dude, no I'm not gay or fat." Cartman insisted.

Kyle had to support his SBF, no matter the cost, "Don't sugar coat it, Cartman; you'll eat that, too."

Eric's face twisted in resentment, but before he could speak he was interrupted, "MMhmph MHpm hmp mhpm."

"Ugh, fine. But If I'm going to eat him, It better be a god damn five star meal."

So that was what was set out to do. Unfortunately Stan would have to be served live and raw. The natural choice was for Kenny to make rice in the kitchen while Kyle bathed Stan in the sink, preparing the meal. His eyes pricked with tears, this would be one of the last times he would see his best friend, and here he was, silent, only listening to the sound of the the faucet as the water ran down his friend's prepubescent body.

"Dude, are you crying?" Stan asked, shivering in the cold and barely fitting in the kitchen sink. His ass was in the sink, but his legs were on the counter.

Kyle wiped his eyes with a dish towel, "Sorry man, I guess I'm just a bit sad to see you go."

"Dude, I'm not going anywhere," Stan firmly stated.

"You're going into Cartman's stomach! I don't know if I'll ever see you again!"

"We all know Cartman can't digest shit. I'll be gone for a little, but you'll be fine without me."

Kyle smiled, this is what Stan wanted. If it was what his friend needed to feel whole, then so be it.

The timer rang. The rice was at last finished.

Kyle and Kenny both began to form the large mound of sticky white rice on the table into a bed for the raw meat. It was absurdly large. They both lifted the damp Stan onto the counter, drying him off. Then, they both lifted him again, laying him on the bed of rice. The rice mound was so large that Stan's entire body could fit onto it. He laid down face first into the sticky rice. Kenny handed Kyle the eel sauce, giving him the honor.

"Thank you." Kyle began to drizzle the sauce down Stan's back. The hairs on his body raised at the cool syrup pouring down his sides. This was really happening, Stan folded his arms, burying his face in the crook of it. He was so excited. He tried to hide his giddy smile.

"Cartman, you can come out now," Kyle announced. Out from the living room, Cartman entered the kitchen, sitting on the barstool. He licked his lips in anticipation. Stan looked absolutely delicious, in a non-sexual way. No homo, after all. But that didn't stop Kenny from palming himself through his pants. Might as well enjoy the show!

Cartman picked up a napkin off of the counter, putting it into his shirt like a bib. It was a brown napkin, made of paper with the slogan, "Eat Fresh," printed on it.

Stan quivered with anticipation as the fat fuck began pouring a small bowl of soy sauce and mixed in the wasabi. Cartman tipped Stan's big toe in the mixture, then proceeded to suck on it. Kenny moaned loudly, moving his hand into his pants. Kyle had to look away for a moment It felt too fucking wrong.

Stan moaned as well, Cartman's wet tongue was warm. It swirled around his cold toe. Maybe he really was a sick fuck who was into vore.

Cartman removed his mouth, breathing heavily. He prepared himself, unhinging his jaw like a snake. It opened to ten times its size.

"H-holy shit…." Kyle said in disbelief. So that's how Cartman came to be so obese.

Stan shook, quivered under Eric Cartman's touch. Something that most people would think could never happen, but here we are. The fat fucker swallowed Stan Marsh feet first, slowly but surely taking more in at a time.

As Cartman made it to his belly button, Stan waved, "Bye, Kyle."

"Bye, dude." He watched as his friend was swallowed whole. Cartman expanded to thrice the size he was.

Kenny busted a fat nut, his eyes rolled back as he cried out. A wet spot appeared on the front of his trousers, but he kept stroking as it was the best orgasm he ever had. He kept stroking and stroking, even after his body began begging him to stop. He couldn't stop. Blood pooled in the front of his trousers as he collapsed to the tile. He twitched for a little, but then laid there. Stiff, and eyes wide open.

"Oh my god! You killed Kenny!" Kyle cried. He lost two friends today. Now it was just him and Cartman.

"You bastard!" A muffled cry was heard from Cartman's expanded stomach.

"S-stan!" He cried, his friend was alive. Kyle ran to Cartman's engorged stomach, putting his hand upon it, "Dude."

A handprint appeared, protruding from the stretched stomach. "Dude, I'm not dead."

"Bro."

"Bro."

Kyle swallowed thickly, "Do you feel any better?"

"Not really, the stomach acid kinda burns," Stan replied.

Stan didn't want to die this way.

Like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon, Stan began to stretch. Cartman's skin began to break, blood began to leak and moisten the room in a violent spray like squirting.

Kyle was covered head to toe in the blood of his enemy. He didn't care. His friend was free.

Stan was also covered in taco bell and blood. Tears welled in both of their eyes, "Bro," they both said at the same time.

Kyle stroked his best friend's hair, "Let's go home and have a conversation with your parents about your depression."

"That would be great. I love you, Kyle." It wasn't gay. It was what homies say to each other

THE END.


End file.
